


Liability

by Stachmou77



Series: Steve Whump (Stuckony) [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Multi, Romantic Soulmates, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:55:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27124172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stachmou77/pseuds/Stachmou77
Summary: Steve has Bucky and Tony's soulmarks but he is not their soulmates. Maybe?
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers & Tony Stark, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark
Series: Steve Whump (Stuckony) [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1956520
Comments: 10
Kudos: 98





	1. We need to talk

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was supposed to be a oneshot. I didn't want to add another chapter, but...when I was correcting it, I kind of started writing the second part.
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy it! And if you don't know what to comment, write what you think may happened in the second chapter, or drop one of them ❤🧡💛💚💜🤎🖤🤍💔.

Steve was in love with Bucky and Tony. Bucky was in love with Tony. Tony was in love with Bucky, he repeated in his head like a mantra. Steve had Bucky and Tony’s soulmarks, but it didn’t matter because they didn’t love him. At least not like that. There was no place for him in this oiled machine. There was no place for a fucked-up person like him. He was too blunt, stupid and naïve. He didn’t care about decorum and would pick a fight regardless of sex and gender. He was too big for life, he thought bitterly.

He looked around and tried to stay as calm as possible. Both men were sitting in front of him and yet too far.

Fury’s voice lulled Steve. He was giving some criticism on their teamwork. If the others seemed concentrated on whatever he was saying, for once Steve was not. His eyes unconsciously strayed back to Bucky and Tony. This time only, they were both looking at him. No. Staring at him, eyebrows furrowed.

Steve raised an eyebrow, looking calm, although, inside everything was on high alert. All of his senses were focus on the two men. He could smell and see more accurately, and he could feel all the little threads composing his clothing under his callous hands. Although, his heart may give him away. It sounded to loud even for him. His tympans were throbbing the faster it beat. Steve was sure Bucky was able to hear it.

After what it seemed to be an eternity, Tony shook his head and nudged Bucky to look away.

Steve’s heart slowed down. But his hands kept trembling during the rest of the meeting.

Once they were back at the Tower, Steve didn’t stop to the communal like the other and went back to his room. The elevator ride, with only Bucky, felt weird. They both talked like before but now things were awkward. Even Bucky’s laugh felt fake. Steve had tried to talk to him and ask him if anything was wrong but when he’d met Bucky’s eyes…his heart ached. Steve didn’t want to know why they were so cold with him. He didn’t want their friendship to end. Not because of his love.

He had tried to keep _it_ on the low. When he looked at them, he’d count a few reglementary seconds, before turning his gaze away. If he stayed too long, it’d be considered staring and too few, suspicious. Steve made sure to never touch Bucky nor Tony too long. He’d always catch himself when hugging one of them and would do a gentle pat at the end.

So how? How could have they discover his feelings? And if it was the case, why were there acting as if Steve was…disgusting? No, too strong. Guilty? Yes. As if Steve had a choice and he choose them…

He blinked away his tears, raised a hand to give a friendly squeeze on Bucky’s shoulder. His bestfriend flinched away and Steve’s hand fell down by his side.

Bucky looked away.

“See you later, Buck,” Steve whispered while getting out of the elevator. Their soulmarks, in the center of his back burned through his entire upper body. As the doors closed, Steve walked to the balcony and looked at the full moon. He lowered himself and laid on the floor, eyes staring in the dark sky.

_“Tell me ma’, what happened after I meet my soulmate,” a tiny sickly boy asked, his voice still hoarse after a fit of coughing._

_“You’d live happy ever after, Stevie,” his mom, chuckled and bumped his nose._

_The boy kept his eyes on the drawing he was making for his ma’._

_“Tell me ma’…” his voice now a whisper. His mom had to lean to hear him properly. “What happens is they don’t love me?”_

_His mom forced a smile on her lips and kissed the crown of his head. Anguish pierced her heart as the thought grew in his mind. She couldn’t bear thinking about that right now. Stevie was so sick she wasn’t even sure he’d survive and be blessed or cursed to live another year. So, no…she wouldn’t think about that. That’d be a cruel joke…to let him survive all of these years, only to…she choked up and closed her teary eyes._

_“They’ll love you, Stevie. You are such a good boy. How could anyone not love you?”_

Steve stayed on the floor long enough for the moon to disappear and the sun to rise slowly.

“They don’t love me, ma’. Why…” He coiled up on the cold floor and hugged his knees. He cried for his mom. He mourned her like he just learned her death. As his thoughts qpiraled out of control, Steve started regretting everything he’d done since her death. He regretted being so stupid and trying to enroll. He regretted not trying harder to find a desk job and help Bucky. He regretted never telling him that he was his soulmate...but his worst regret was the train. Steve wished he'd been faster and grabbed his shield to deflect the hit, and maybe, just maybe, Bucky wouldn't have suffered all these years.

“I should have died.” The words muttered resonated in the room and calmed him as soon as he pronounced them. His mind and heart which had raged a few seconds before were now strangely calm. “It was a punishment from God. I shouldn’t have played with fate. I should have stayed sickly and died after ma’. That was my fate.”

Steve nodded, now firmly certain that it was this fault. He should have never gone to Erskine and accept. He should have never tried to play God and now he was alone, lonely for almost an eternity. Bound to witness his lovers’ death.

A bitter laugh escaped his mouth. His laugh turned into screams. Heart wrenching screams that rattled his chest.

Tears ran down his cheeks, but he didn’t care.

_I should have died. I should have died. I should have died. **I have to die.**_

Yes, he had yet to die. He had cheated Death for all of these years and now he had to pay.

He pressed a hand on his holster. Inhale. Exhale. The familiar weight grounded him.

“Captain Rogers? Boss wants to talk to you.”

Steve slowly stood up with a renewed peace. Like a man on a mission…a divine mission. He inhaled and exhaled, feeling freed. For once in his life, there was no burden. He cracked his neck and joints, groaning as the tightness in his muscles.

“Tell him I’m coming in 20 minutes.”

“Boss was rather –”

“Tell him I’m coming in 20 minutes, please.” He repeated firmly. Friday didn’t reply. If what his guts were telling him was true, he’d like to be prepared for what’d happened.

Steve looked around as he went to the bathroom, memorizing each little detail as he went by. Once his clothes discarded, he walked under the hot, burning water and let it purify him from his love.

The elevator ride went faster than usual. He didn’t know what Tony had to tell him, in the wee hours of the day but it seemed more than urgent. There was a small flame of hope shining in his dark mind. Maybe, just maybe they weren’t about to tear him apart and left him to die. A humorless smile spread on his lips. He bit them to refrain from laughing at his own stupidity.

The doors opened silently. Steve walked still deadly calm. He looked around and found Tony…and Bucky, both staring at him from across the central table. Bucky had one arm around Tony waist, fingers drumming on his ACDC t-shirts.

“Hey,” Steve started, eyes going from Bucky to Tony.

The couple exchanged a look. Steve, who should have felt left out, only tilted his head and played with the small razor blade he found in his bathroom. The sharpness of the blade sent a chill down his spine. He smiled softly, his hair hiding the amusement in his eyes.

I could end it here, he thought dreamy. And none of them would be able to save me.

“Steve, we need to talk,” Tony started. “It’s nothing against you but we’ve noticed how you looked at us.”

Steve raised his head.

“Oh,” he simply said. His forefinger swiped along the edge of the blade, blood poured slowly, surprising him. Before he could analyze his feelings, the wound was already healed. He tried again. This time after Bucky spoke. Steve resisted the urge to do it right away. There was something freeing in feeling his blood pour. This time it was of his consent. No one had beat or tortured him.

It was he who decided if he wanted to spill some blood.

“Yeah, we love you. We really do and in other circumstances we’d jump on the occasion and date you…” Steve tensed at the upcoming ‘but’. “But we are not your soulmates.” Steve’s body trembled under his sardonic laugh, which was mistaken for sobs.

“Steve? I know it’s hard, and you may resent us, but it’s for the best.” Tony butted in. “Once you’ll find your soulmate, you’ll forget about us and any feelings you had for us would seem pale compared to what you feel for your soulmate.”

“So, how can you love me if you have you’re each other soulmate?”

Bucky and Tony glanced at each other and seemed to hold a silent conversation. Steve’s jeans pocket was now drenched in blood. He hadn’t stopped swiping and swiping again and again his finger which was taking longer to heal.

“We love you for sure, but not like we love each other.”

Tony nodded at Bucky’s explanation and added some more. “If we were to get together right now there’d be a primary relationship between Bucky and I, and a secondary with you. It wouldn’t be fair to you –.”

“Because we know you punk,” Bucky interrupted after sending sad look toward Tony. “We know that if you date us and you happen to find your soulmates, you’d choose to stay with us and deny yourself the chance to find someone who’ll complete you totally.”

“Someone who’ll truly love you, because like I said, the love for a soulmate is really more…” Tony trailed off and cupped Bucky’s jaw and pressed their foreheads together.

Steve froze. The words and their implications echoed in his head. He stopped playing with the blade and closed his eyes as the swirl of feelings destroyed everything, every wall he build to protect himself. It reached further and further to the most important and hidden part of him. And as it found his deeper self, it wrapped itself around it and held it tight. Steve let out a chocked noise.

“…you’ll understand when you find your soulmate. And maybe you’ll be able to forgive us.”

The soulmark on his back wasn’t burning anymore. Or Steve was used to the lancinating pain going through each of his nerve, punishing him for having affronted God.

“I understand,” he heard himself say, placid. He raised his head and looked at each of them. “I’m sorry for feeling like that. I should have known,” he chuckled humorlessly. “I will try to keep my distance and…” he waved his hand around, not finishing his sentence. Tony started talking, but Steve was already out.

He came back to his room and straight to his bedroom. He packed everything. Every clothe, picture and object, and left the Tower.

* * *

Friday, who was as silent as always, felt the need to protect Captain Rogers. She hacked his phone and every camera in the city to keep an eye on him. As she watched and recorded the man getting away, she couldn’t help but not understand.

From what she gathered soulmates were easily identified by their soulmarks. As she pulled up pictures of Boss, Sergeant Barnes and Captain Rogers, she failed to understand what truly was the problem.

She hesitated to show what she found to the two men. It was said that soulmates would love each other despite the soulmarks. And if Sergeant Barnes and Boss weren’t already in love with Captain Steve, would showing them his soulmark change anything?

She kept the file preciously and followed Captain Rogers like a guardian angel. What she had recorded the night before and this morning had set her alarms up. She didn’t know what exactly were making her programs go haywire, but she didn’t like it at all.

* * *

Steve went to Fury and asked him for one of these ridiculously dangerous missions. The ones that could last a few months and was life threatening. The ones no one really wanted because dying was not on their wishlist.

Fury didn’t make any comment. Not when Steve asked. Not even when he gave back his shield, recommending Sam for the job. Fury merely glanced at the shield, then at Steve, with an unreadable expression. He let out a small breath which coming from him could be interpreted as a loud sigh.

“Thank you for your service, Captain Steven Grant Rogers,” Fury stated formally, back straight as he saluted him.

“Thanks Sir.” Steve bowed slightly before saluting him back.

Getting out of the facility felt like getting out of jail. Steve was free. He looked at the sky and laughed.

Steve sauntered to his car and straight to his next destination. The files Fury gave him were on the passenger seat as he drove away. He didn’t stop until he needed to refill the gas tank.

The sunset behind him set the whole road on fire, in a kaleidoscope of vibrant colors. The purple and orange sky led him to a new adventure.

The final one, he thought finally at peace.

**Tony and Bucky (Just after Steve's departure)**

Tony dropped his outstretched hand and sagged against Bucky, who tightened his arms around him.

“We fucked up,” Bucky whispered.


	2. How deep is your love?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Tony came to a realization.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I kind of lied, it's not the last chapter. There'll be an epilogue because I can't let the story go like that niark niark.
> 
> Thanks for the comments! I appreciated your insight and suggestions, and I hope you'll like both this and the last chapter.

**Tony and Bucky**

**(Just after Steve left)**

Tony dropped his outstretched hand and sagged against Bucky, who tightened his arms around him.

“We fucked up,” Bucky whispered.

“Yeah, we did.”

“Did you see how he looked at us?”

“Or avoided.”

Bucky hummed and kissed the crown of Tony’s head.

“It was for his own good, right?” Tony suddenly asked. He raised his head and peered at Bucky, who was still staring at the door.

“We are no good, Tony. Together we form a somewhat stable and sane unit but Steve…”

“Steve deserves something whole,” Tony finished. He unclenched his fingers around the corner of the table and grabbed Bucky’s metal hand to play with.

“Yep. Have you seen Steve? He is like this unstoppable force...” Bucky cleared his throat, feeling a bit too emotional. “I don’t even want to think about his soulmate. Someone who’ll be able to complete and compete with him, stand their ground and not bend when he starts being a reckless punk…do you think we’d be able to compete against them?”

Tony sighed. “No. But maybe we can have him for just now. At least for now…and since we are already together, when he’ll break up with us, we’ll have each other, right?”

Bucky’s eyebrows were furrowed. Tony resisted the pulsion to smooth the wrinkle.

“Right,” Bucky conceded slowly.

“You can say no if you want.” Before Bucky could answer, Tony raised his hand. “I want you to be 100% sure because otherwise it wouldn’t be worth it. I don’t want to lose both of you for selfish reasons. I can live all my life without Steve but if I have to lose, you, my soulmate, I’d never survive that.”

Bucky stared speechless into Tony’s teary eyes. He took a shuddery breath and nodded firmly.

“Ok. Let’s do it, love,” he whispered before capturing Tony’s plump lips in a ravaging kiss.

Tony wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him closer. They were lost in their embrace when DUM-E, bumped into them, making them wobble.

“DUM-E?!” Tony exclaimed, heart racing. If it wasn’t for Bucky’s support, he’d be on the floor.

The robot kept chirping and rolling around them. Bucky steadied Tony and stopped DUM-E.

“Okay, DUM-E, you have all of our attention. What’s wrong?” Bucky said, half-concerned half-joking.

The robot grabbed Bucky’s metal hand and lead him to the door. Bucky glanced behind and mouthed. ‘What is wrong with you DUM-E?’ to which Tony shrugged, as lost as he was.

DUM-E suddenly came to a halt. Bucky looked around before being forced to look down. Blood. He kneeled and touched it. It was still warm. To appease his doubts, he asked Tony about it.

“Did you hurt yourself?”

“What? No,” Tony reassured him, as he walked closer.

“Are you sure?” Bucky asked, with an underlying tension. He prayed silently for Tony’s answer to be yes, because it’d be better than the other alternative. The only person who stood just there was Steve. And Bucky didn’t want to think about this possibility.

“Yes, I’m…” Tony stopped talking behind Bucky.

Bucky rose to is feet slowly, fingers glistening from Steve’s blood.

“Bucky…” Tony whined pitifully. “Please…tell me it’s not his.”

Bucky clenched his fingers.

“Baby girl, Fri, please tell me where Steve is,” Tony urged he AI.

“I’m sorry, Boss, but Captain Rogers is already gone.”

Already gone? The AI tone was…weird.

“What do you mean?” Bucky asked. His voice came out stronger than he’d thought.

“Captain Rogers has left the Tower, 37 minutes ago.”

There again with the weird tone. The AI sounded…reproachful. Against them?

“Do you know where he is?”

“Maybe his morning run?” Tony guessed, but even he wasn’t believing it.

Bucky stared into Tony’s eyes. He tried to convey his doubts and fears without using words. If Bucky dared voiced them, it’d become true. And there was nothing on Earth or in the Universes that he’d fear.

Tony went through a lot of different emotions, from hope, denial to acceptance.

“Fri, where is Steve?”

“Steve went to the headquarter of SHIELD.”

They both looked at each other with astonishment.

“Why?”

Silence.

“Why Fri?” Tony asked again.

“Sorry Boss, I thought it was rhetorical considering the situation. Captain Rogers had warned you he’d leave you alone. Therefore, he packed all of his belongings and went to the SHIELD HQ.”

They both stood there, not really realizing what was happening. Bucky tried…his brain wouldn’t register what Friday said.

“He did what?” Tony yelled. His face went pale, then green to finally settle on a greyish tone. Bucky has never seen Tony so worked up. He ran in the room, grabbing various electronical items and yelled questions at Friday. Had Friday talked to Steve prior to his departure? Had he left anything behind? Did the trackers were still on? Did Steve was aware he had a tracker? Did he take the shield? The motorcycle?

Tony, then, asked for the recording of the previous night.

First obstacle. Friday’s code specifically stated that any recordings shouldn’t be viewed by anyone, unless the person was in danger. Tony argued, tried his override code and whatnot but still Friday wouldn’t give in.

“He bled.” Bucky stated to none in particularly.

“What?” Tony whirled around, his face still flush from anger.

“He bled.” Bucky repeated, numb, as he rubbed the remains of Steve’s blood on his fingers. “Friday, please…” he begged. “We don’t ask you a total breach of confidentiality, but Steve is hurt. And you know him. You can run the numbers and you’ll see that Steve, even on the brink of death, will never tell anyone. So please…”

There were a few seconds of complete silence. Tony was still looking at him with something akin to understanding and sorrow.

“I will forward some images that I -” Friday stopped talking. This simple action was supposed to be impossible to AI’s. It was as if Friday was looking for the perfect word. Her, an AI, which has access to an infinity of words. She was also at loss. “- found worrisome.”

Before one of them spoke, images from last night appeared. From the elevator.

“Did something happen in the elevator?” Tony asked Bucky, confused.

He shook his head. Tony huffed and turned back to the screen.

Bucky started fidgeting when he saw Steve’s face after he backed away from his touch. The cerulean eyes grew darker before losing their focus. Now Bucky was watching the scene he noticed things he hadn’t. Like how Steve’s face went from surprise, heartbreak and settled on a fake smile. And that was what hurt the most. Bucky may not have all the memories from before but there was one thing that stayed stuck in his mind. The smile Steve gave him just after his mom died.

Steve had been the one finding the body lifeless body of his ma on the floor. He had been the one calling for an ambulance and the one taking care of everything before Bucky found out. It hadn’t been Steve who told him first. Bucky learnt the news through some old lady neighbor as he was coming to the apartment to pick up Steve for the double date Bucky got them. He remembered feeling a deep anguish ad astonishment at the news, or maybe it had been incredibility. It had taken the old lady a few times to get the message across, because Bucky would hear the words, understand them but not register them.

Earlier that day he’d seen Steve’s waving at him when he was leaving their house. Steve’s ma had prepared his lunch – he stopped trying to dissuade her from feeding him. She was a strong and stubborn woman like their Stevie - and Bucky went to work, feeling happy and at peace for once in a long time. Sure, they were piss poor but at least they were healthy – even Stevie despite his ailments. 

So why? Why now?

He remembered running to the hospital barely dodging the cars and bikes. He had arrived way too late though. For a long time, his only regret would be to not have been present for Steve. When he’d finally arrived at the hospital, Steve was already out. He had been looking around, seemingly looking for someone. As his eyes fell on Bucky, his face had broken into _this_ smile.

No traces of tears.

No blotched face, snot or any kind of wetness on his face.

No slouching shoulders.

No trembling.

Steve had stood back straight, head high with a smile that revealed nothing. His expressive eyes were for once blank. For a stranger, Steve may have been happy or politely shy in the way he was smiling, but for Bucky…

“ _Stevie_ …” he muttered, as sorrow gripped his heart.

“What?” Tony asked definitely worried. He stopped the video and cupped Bucky’s face. “What is it?”

“I hurt Steve. I shouldn’t have flinched.”

“Why did you?” Tony caressed his cheekbones. Bucky knew it didn’t make any sense. There was no reason for Bucky to react that way. He swallowed he guilt and averted his eyes.

“I was still jittery from the fight.”

Tony raised an eyebrow, unconvinced. Bucky sighed and closed his eyes.

“I know me. If he’d pat my back, I would have hugged him and…at the end I’d chicken out for our big talk. So, I backed off. But I didn’t know he’d react that way. I didn’t even notice.”

Tony wave at the screen and recording started. Tony turned his gaze to the screen but not before kissing the tip of Bucky’s nose, who let out a long-relieved breath. He knew it was this fault and he appreciated that Tony didn’t outright accuse him. If Bucky had been more open in the elevator maybe they wouldn’t be there.

They watched as Steve got to his balcony and looked at the sky.

“Is there anything else Fri?” Tony asked, curious.

Before the AI could answer, Steve was laying on the wooden floor eyes still on the sky. He laid there for barely a couple of minutes before laying on his side in a fetal position. His large frame trembled as tears sprung out his eyes.

Tony back a few steps, colliding against Bucky’s chest. Unconsciously the taller man wrapped his arms around the Tony.

“Bucky, please…” Tony pleaded. His voice seemed far away. He wasn’t even sure that Tony had talked.

“Fri…” He was about to ask her to pause the video when Steve screams drown his attempt. Both men flinched.

“Fri, pause,” Tony suddenly yelled.

The video kept on playing and Friday’s lack of response spoke louder.

Bucky let go of Tony as an unknown pain starting from his lung and travelling to his head blossomed. Each breath, each move flared the pain. Eyes tearing and his head echoing Steve’s torturous yells it didn’t take long for Bucky to fall on the floor, unable to breath properly.

Tony, who had been trying to stop the video first orally then manually, rushed to Bucky’s side. He pushed Bucky to sit upright and tried to help him breath. Tony soon stopped talking when he noticed that Bucky was unresponsive. He watched in despair as Bucky tried to remain conscious.

It didn’t take long for his panic attack to stop; all it took was not hearing Steve. The sudden silence left him overwhelmed and raw. His own breathing was entirely too loud and too wrong. He shouldn’t have been like that…he shouldn’t have been affected that much.

“Fuck,” he let out.

“Are you…better?” Tony asked with a tiny voice. He reminded him of a small scared child; his big brown eyes were red because of unshed tears and he was trembling, pale and disheveled.

Bucky didn’t try to speak, not sure that he’d be able to use his voice. He took a deep shuddery breath and then nodded. Although both of them knew it was a lie.

“You scared the shit out of me,” Tony whispered, head down.

Bucky grabbed slowly his hand. He knew Tony would be avoiding talking about the elephants in the room, so he did. “We really fucked up, Doll. All the way…I have never seen Steve broken down like that. Not after his dad died at war, or when he found his mother’s dead body. Steve has never…” His voice trailed off as painful memories from the war struck him. They’d seen people dying, being tortured and yet Steve had remained so strong…until now.

Tony brought Bucky’s hand to his lips. “We will talk to him and everything will be okay. We’ll tell him everything. How we made a mistake and how we want him. Truly want him, and he’ll never cry because of us ever again.” His brown eyes, full of hope peered straight into Bucky’s.

Bucky gave an uncertain nod. He wasn’t so sure. The way Steve had departed as if it was the end. But of what, Bucky wasn’t certain. And that was what scared him the most. The sole thought that they may have pushed over the edge made his entire stomach churn and the telltale of a new panic attack loomed over him.

“Hey, hey, breath.” Tony pushed a few strands away from his face. “What is going on in this big head of yours?”

Bucky had a choice. As he eyes Tony’s face, he felt his reserve dissolved. Could he really tell his doubts to Tony? Was that really worth it?

“Tell me,” Tony said firmly.

“I think Steve is going to do something stupid.”

Bucky had expected denial, maybe astonishment and a few screams but not the lack of response, nor the guilty look.

“You too?” Bucky asked voice still raspy. “You too you noticed.”

Tony sat next to Bucky hand still intertwined with each other.

“I’ve known Steve for a few years. A few years watching him when he didn’t know, so yeah. I had a little suspicion and now with the recording…”

They both stayed silent for a couple of seconds. Enough for Fri play the rest of the vide.

“Fri…” Tony warned, upset. “We’ve seen enough.”

The AI never responded. They watched as Steve stood up and went to the bathroom. He started taking his uniform.

“Friday? You said you didn’t want us to breach into Steve’s privacy and now you’re going to show him showering?”

The AI stayed silent. Steve took off his pants first and they both wanted to look away, but their eyes stayed glued on the screen. Steve long and athletic legs attracted their full attention, and his bubble butt.

“Truly this suit doesn’t give him any justice,” Tony commented, half-sad half-aroused.

“Yeah.” Was Bucky only replied. He was having a whiplash between the change of emotions. From anguish, terror, to horny.

“I’m going to make a tighter one…”

Bucky snorted. “He’d distract both the villains and us, Doll. I think we should keep this weapon secret.”

“Maybe you’re right. After all –.”

Both froze.

As the top of the uniform fell on the floor, a familiar tattoo appeared.

Their soulmark.

“It’s not possible,” Bucky whispered.

“It’s not true,” Tony added, before jumping to his feet. “Friday, are you messing with us?!” He screamed, upset.

“No, Sir, I have analyzed and compared all of your marks and there is a 100% match.”

It was maybe Tony or Bucky or both who took a big breath. Bucky rose to his feet slowly. He examined his hands. Was that a dream? He raised his head and looked dumbly at Tony who was still screaming at Friday.

When he noticed that Bucky was on his feet he ran to his sides.

“Bucky, tell me it’s fake.”

Bucky shrugged not trusting his voice. There was a hint of hysteria in Tony’s voice. Somewhere deep down he knew he should be concerned by it and he should try to be more helpful, but he couldn’t.

Steve was their soulmate.

“Bucky! Focus! Please…”

“I don’t know, Doll. I don’t know…” he said shaking his head.

“You know him since before the war. You should have seen it, right?”

There again for the false hope in his voice. Bucky shrugged. His memories were hazy, and he still wasn’t sure what was pure fantasy or reality. Although he had been able to separate the most fantasies like when they used to lay next to each other, and he’d caress the bare hipbone of Steve as he slept. Or maybe was that true. The soft kisses when no one saw them, the mutual jerk off, the light touches…Everything had seemed so real. He could feel the phantom weight of Steve artist fingers caressing his chest and traveling to his groin, cupping it firmly.

Bucky shook his head. “I don’t have all my memories, Doll. I don’t remember. I didn’t even remember having one myself until you showed it to me.”

“A tattoo, then!”

“Tony…”

Tony must have noticed something in his voice because he let go of him and backed a few steps. His face grew sadder.

“So, it’s true. He is our soulmate.”

Bucky nodded, expecting the outcome. Tony took a sharp breath through his nose. Bucky could tell he was trying to process it all. The wrinkles between his eyebrows were back.

“Why didn’t he tell us, then? I’m sure he knew about ours why…” Tony grabbed a tablet laying on his workshop and threw it on the wall. “Why! Why! Oh my god…he was ours and we said…” Tony threw the rest of his tools on the floor. Bucky let him do, still numb. _‘He was ours’_. ‘Was’ not ‘is’, because Steve told them he’d leave. Because Steve loved them even before he knew they had his marks and they pushed him away.

It was unfair. Steve should have told them, he should have revealed the truth and they’d be together. They…how could have they known he was theirs and they…and they…

_“We love you for sure, but not like we love each other.”_

Bucky gripped his head hard.

_“Someone who’ll truly love you, because like I said, the love for a soulmate is really more..”_

He fell on his knees.

_“So, how can you love me if you have you’re each other soulmate?”_

Bucky screamed as pain blossomed in his back, where the mark was. He gritted his teeth and felt the coper of his blood fill his mouth. He arched his back and let out a howl. The pain travelled through each of his nerve and he prayed…he begged for it to stop.

Somewhere lost in the pain, his thoughts when straight to Steve.

‘Was that what you suffered?’ He thought before letting go.

His body kept seizing under the torturous agony, while his mind was digging out every memory, every moment with Steve, every smile, every touch and promise, only to further the torture.

As everything turned to an ominous darkness, Bucky mourned their lost lover. 


	3. Happily ever after

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> God has a peculiar sense of humor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this is it, I guess. 
> 
> I had a few other ideas on this universe and would probably add parts. I have already started writing a next part; so it's definitely happening!
> 
> Tell me in the comments what you thought about this story and if you were surprised by the ending.  
> Or drop a heart, it'll make me extra happy! 😘🧡❤💛💚💜🤎

**5 YEARS LATER**

Since Steve’s departure a lot changed. Sam became the new Captain America despite Tony’s stubbornness in not letting the shield go nor the suit he had created and perfectioned for Steve. Rhodey and Peter became Avengers, Tony became more a consultant than a fighter. He’d still go on fights but less than before. It seemed that after Steve was gone his pleasure for avenging disappeared too. He still loved flying with the suits but every time they were out for a fight, he’d expect Steve to call him out on his chatter or recklessness. After a particularly violent fight against a witch, and a complete rash decision which lead to his hospitalization, Tony decided to stop avenging.

There was a void in his chest that would never be fully filled no matter what he did.

Bucky followed his suit. While Tony was hurting in New-York, he left for a full year, following crumbs. Fury hadn’t really helped them and never really disclosed the information on Steve’s locations even though the were sure he knew about it.

After a year, Bucky came back raw. He had lost weight during his research and was now back to being lethargic. He only woke up if anyone woke him up. He only ate when someone gave him food and spoke when being spoken.

Their relationship had taken a blow. They weren’t even sure how they’d somewhat maintain a semblance of relationship. As if continuing would be a mockery because they’d never be complete ever again and it was their fault.

How ironic…Tony had said that they could survive without Steve but not without each other. Guess he was wrong. It didn’t feel like living at all. They were still surviving to this day. They were just getting better at hiding their true despair to their friends.

During the fifth year post-Steve, they found themselves in a peculiar predicament. Tony, for once, had suited up and participated to a fight. They’d been fighting on the West Coast against robots. A normal Tuesday for them.

At a certain point, they were all scattered around. Fast. Tony hadn’t had the time to ask Sam for the next orders and he scooped Bucky and flew away.

He remembered a bombing. The fire in his back despite his suit and he was sent tumbling in the sky with his lover still in his arms.

It was a miracle that he landed safely in the middle of nowhere.

So here there were, after a few minutes? Hours? walking around in the middle of a forest.

“Fucking hell!” Tony cursed as the rest of his suit fell off.

“Language,” Bucky muttered out of habit. It had become a way to remember Steve, whose mouth may have been cleaner in the 21st century but it hadn’t always been the case.

Tony flipped him off and threw his gantlet away. “I know I shouldn’t have come. I knew it!”

Bucky slowed down and grabbed the gauntlet in one of the bushes around. He knew Tony would feel guilty once he came down from his little rage trip.

“I know, and yet you came. So, shut up or –.”

Bucky tilted his head. He heard something. A loud tweet erupted from a tree nearby and Bucky relaxed.

“Or what? You’ll make me?” Tony retorted, mischievous.

“Horny much? In the middle of nowhere?”

“Not the worst place we had –.”

This time Tony stopped talking and frowned. They both exchanged a look and on a count to three they drew their weapons in the direction of the noise.

“Get out right now!” Bucky ordered loudly.

There was a beat of silence.

Tony rolled his eyes and shoot next to where the person could be. They saw the shadow jump out of their hiding place, roll on the grass and stand up.

“You are naked!” Tony exclaimed, shocked.

The man’s head snapped up and they all stared at each other.

The hunk of a man was Steve. Fucking. Rogers.

Bucky pressed the trigger. The bullet flew next to Steve’s head, who didn’t even flinch.

“Bucky!” Tony screamed shocked. “What the fuck!”

He shrugged seemingly nonchalant. Meanwhile inside his heart was going off.

“You shot at him and I can’t?” He retorted with a forced smile.

Tony hit his shoulder with his other gauntlet.

“I didn’t know it was Steve! I would have never…” Bucky looked at him unimpressed and Tony backtracked. “Well, maybe you are right; I would have probably slapped him and –.”

Tony turned his head toward Steve. “- he’s gone.”

Bucky’s smile fell when he finally noticed Steve’s departure. He scanned their surrounding quickly. There were no one and no way Steve could have disappeared without attracting their attention.

“Don’t tell me it was a dream.” He whispered, unconsciously.

“We couldn’t have imagined that, right? Unless you usually dream of a naked, hairy, bearded and scarred Steve.”

“Did you?”

“What?” Tony asked, lost.

“Did you ever dream of a “naked, hairy, bearded and scarred Steve”?”

Tony rolled his eyes and smacked his shoulder. “Nope. I didn’t even know he could grow a beard. You both told me it was impossible.”

“That’s what he used to tell me. Even as a skinny lad he never could grow a beard and with the serum, he convinced anyone that the serum took care of it all.”

Tony’s eyebrows were furrowed, and he was biting his lower lips. Bucky leaned toward him and pried his lips away with his teeth. He sucked on his lower lips and deepen their kiss. Tony sagged in his embrace and reciprocated as much as he could.

Someone cleared their throat.

They both jumped apart, weapon raised.

The man from earlier who looked just like Steve was back. Fully clothed. The more they looked at him and less they believed it could be Steve. The man wore well fitted jeans, combat boots and also a well-fitted shirt. He had an earring and a piercing on his lips. So not Steve. But then, they hadn’t seen him for five years.

“Who are you?” Bucky asked.

The man, instead of answering verbally, signed. Slow moves.

S-T-E-V-E.

“Why doesn’t he speak?” Tony asked Bucky, eyes still on “Steve”.

“Why don’t you ask him?” Bucky muttered.

“Why don’t you speak?” Tony screamed, ignoring the way Bucky groaned.

The man’s eyes grew sadder. He brought his hand to the half of his face which was scarred. A mangled of deep scars starting from the temple as the epicenter. As if something had hit his head and exploded. His hand went lower to his neck and he tilted his head backward revealing a deep scar all over his throat. It wasn’t as deep as the scars on his face but it brough chills to both men.

They knew what kind of material would do that and they also knew what happened. Someone had strangled him with a metal wire, enough for his vocal cords to be crashed.

“What happened?” Bucky asked, still not convinced. They had looked for him for five years. Five years of stress, arguments, and many failures. So why now? Why would the Universe or God grant them this only wish. And was that really a blessing? If the man was really Steve, he looked like he’s been through hell. Bucky imagined him choking almost to death as someone was strangling him, eyes getting glassier by the minute and heart filled with pure desperation, or lack of. Because he had been ready to die. Alone. Lonely.

Tony brought his hand gantlet up when the man began to undo his shirts. Now, half naked he turned around.

Their soulmark was marred by scars but it was theirs.

Before they could stop themselves, they took off to get closer to Steve. He didn’t flinch nor tensed as he heard them getting closer.

Bucky’s heart was filled with need and want. He feared once close to Steve that he’d disappear in a pop of smoke. Like in all of his dreams. So, he was surprised when his human hand came in contact with Steve’s warm back. Bucky stood still, transfixed by the vision and the feeling under his palm. Steve’s heart was beating fast and hard under his hand, or was that his own heart?

“Steve,” Bucky whined. He wrapped his other hand around his waist and brought his nose to his neck, inhaling the earthly scent off his skin.

Tony has been bolder. He’s come in front of Steve and hugged him. Steve unable to contain himself, sagged in their embrace and laid his chin on top of Tony’s head.

Bucky wanted to pretend that this was it, their happy ending.

* * *

Steve…their _lover_ , and God, calling Steve their “lover” still made him blush after all these years. Steve wasn’t like before. He never fully recovered from his time alone. Sometimes he’d look outside for hours straight oblivious to his surroundings. He’d watch the city below, because yes, he came back with them even if this was for a few months. And then he grew distant and jumpy. He never fought on the field with the team and would shy away from any battles. He never asked back for the shield nor his position as Cap.

If, at first, they’d been surprised, and tried to argue with him – which ended up badly enough. Bucky’s heart clenched at the memory; Steve had pretended to think about the issue and soothed them. Any argument would overwhelm him, they’d find out a bit too late. Later that day they’d gone out on a date and they even had sex.

Everything had gone well.

So why, if Tony hadn’t been restless and unable to sleep, they’d have never noticed that Steve was gone. Again.

The first time had already left an unbearable wound; they’d never been able to survive another one.

They’d run to the garage and caught a glimpse of Steve mounting his bike. Bucky remembered the look he had given them and _the_ smile.

It was at his moment Tony and Bucky knew that Steve would never be the same. If the man before had been an enigma, this one would be a never-ending labyrinth.

So, they had let him go hoping that they’d meet again. Even when everything in them screamed and demanded to call him back and track him. They never did.

And their reward tasted sweeter than corn candy. Only one week later, they received a video call while they were watching the TV. Steve’s gruffy face appeared on the giant screen, a blinding smile playing on his lips.

‘Hello love’ he signed.

Tony and Bucky released a long breath and smiled back. A little shy.

“Hello love,” they said at the same time.

Steve’s face blushed to their delight.

“How was your day, Sweetheart?” Tony asked softly.

Steve’s eyes widen with fragile hope. His smile became reserved and uncertain.

“Doll, tell us we really want to know,” Bucky reassured him.

Steve’s smile blinded them, and he started to sign. They noticed how shaky his hands were and how sometimes he’d lose focus, or he’d press his hand on the scar on his temple. His eyes would go blank for a few seconds and he’d go back to signing.

He never told them the story behind his scars. And they never asked. Deep down they knew what had happened. The scar on the neck was too straight and deep. It was impossible for someone normal to do that kind of damage. The scar on his temples also made sense. A gun would have to be close, almost touching the skin. And he’d be dead for sure. But he wasn’t.

Even though he never told them any details, Bucky and Tony had enough imagination to picture what happened. Tony even made a simulation trying to understand and calm his fears. Only for them to be validated.

So, nothing was normal.

As they watched Steve telling his day, they both let themselves smile and relax.

Maybe it wasn’t normal, but it was their life. And as long as they loved each other it would be alright.


End file.
